"Life Isn't Fair"

The divorce rate in America continues to climb. This probably comes as no shock to most of us but what about the children; the Biological (Bio) and Step children?
When you accept/offer a marriage proposal you take your mate with all their baggage, right?
What about the rest of your family? Will they? Should they?

I'm fully aware that no two situations are exactly the same and without enough detail you can't come to a logical conclusion but still I ask, "Is my mother obligated to buy her Step Grandchildren what she buys her Bio Grandchildren?"
I'm sure we've all heard the famous quote, "Life isn't fair". In my opinion the is the most candid quote ever but even with that said, shouldn't we still try to be fair? Is that not the right thing to do?

My younger sister recently married a man who had already had child and had one on the way which was a result of his prior relationship. My sister and her husband then had twins about two months after the baby on the way came. To date, there is a total of four children.
My younger sister is one of the most loving people I know. She has accepted his kids as her own.
Her love for them is open and she does for them whole heartily. If you saw them interact as a family you might even assume she was the mother of all four; triplets and six year old.
Her Step Children have decided on their own to call her mom despite their Bio mom's envy.
However, when birthdays and holidays come around is our family obligated to buy gifts or even buy a gift for her Step Children?
My sister's twins and her youngest step daughter are all young enough to use high chairs, hence the reference to them being referred to as triplets above.
For Nico's and JoJo's (the twins') birthday my mother bought them high chairs but she did not buy one for her Step Grandchild. Was she obligated to?
My mother asked me, "Should I have bought her a high chair?"
I was honest, "If it isn't in your heart then no you shouldn't feel obligated."
My mother than went on to say, "It wasn't in my heart or my budget! I know she's and innocent child but she has a Grandmother that will never buy my Grandson's anything."
I guess this is my mother's way of trying to make life fair, at least for the twins...!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

When I told my oldest sister about the situation she commented, "B (the youngest Step Daughter) is Cocoa's (my younger sister's) husband's favorite and B gets attention from her dad that the twins just do not get. I resent B and him for it regardless if it is wrong and I know I shouldn't, but I do. I can buy the twins a million high chairs but love is priceless especially your fathers."
Which is true, love is priceless. I nodded and my older sister continued, "If J (the older Step Daughter) was in the twins age group I'd buy her and the twins a high chair just because because their dad treats J like he treats the twins."
Don't get my wrong my sister's husband isn't the poster child for Messed Up Dads of America but because Life Isn't Fair he has his favorite. It is something that happens in many families, sometimes parents just have blatant favorites and it is something kids either deal with rationally or irrationally. It has been this way since the beginning of time and it will continue to be so. In this case my sister's hubby favorite just happens to be B. No matter what anyone says or what sense we try to knock into him B just happens to be his child of choice.
However, his favoritism for B effects the heart of those surrounding them looking in. Most of the twins' Bio relatives are not adamant about giving to my sister's Step Children because of her hubby's unfair behavior.
I know we are all entitled to our feelings and opinions but in an effort to make life fair and preserve the innocence of the children and although you weren't even asked to accept them in your life should you treat them the same way you treat your bio nieces/nephew/Grandchildren and so on?

"TALK BACK" to Worry

Friends and loved ones, I get this News Letter w/ my paycheck. Today is Pay Day. ...yeah me! Not!!!!! bills are due. :(
Anywho, I stubbled upon a great article in TopPerformance titled "TALK BACK" to Worry:

Worry seems to be widespread these days, and stress is taking
its toll. What is worry? It's interest on a debt you may never owe. It's
suffering in an imaginary life while the real one passes you by. What is worry
really worth?

Is something weighing heavily
on your heart and mind? Ask youself: Can I control this thing I'm worried about?
If the answer is yes, ask yourself, what do I
want to happen?
What are some of the ways I
might make it happen?
Decide which of these
choices is best. (If you're not sure, pick on at random.) Then do
it.

If
you can't control the situation casuing your worry, the following techniques may
help:

1. Take the "Busy Bee" approach. Get involved
   in an activity to push your worries aside. Activities in which you are
   physically and/or mentally active (talking to a friend, gardening) are usually
   more distracting than passive activities such as watching TV.
2. Learn to let go of and accept what you
   can't change. Devote your energy to the things in life that you can
   change!
3. Practice relaxation techiques. Try deep
   breathing, "mini-vacations," muscle tension/relaxation or
   meditation.
4. Stop the thoughts. Think the word "STOP!"
   and immediately focus on a pleasant thought or activity.
5. Write down you worries in a notebook as
   they come, but don't read them until later. Set aside a time to read them, then
   tear them up and throw them away. {They're not worth holding on to are
   they?)

Talk back to worry by asking:

• What's the worst thing that could happen?
• Although I don't want it to happen, could I survive it?
  How?
• How likely is it that my worst fear will
  happen?
• What proof do I have?
• What are some of the possible good
  outcomes?
• Of all the time I've worried, what percentage of the time
  have my worries come true?
• When my fears did come true, what did I gain by worrying
  ahead of time?

This article was very helpful to me. It seems of late, I've worried just about everything. When nothing is really in the grasp of my control. For me when things get tough I pray to God he shows me the way.

September 22

Happy B-Day to my hubby and to a true Princess, Chi Chi.

Last night my hubby's younger sister called to wish him a happy birthday. She was an hour shy of midnight. I poked my lip out because I wanted to be the first. In an effort to make me feel better he told his sister, "My wife already wished me a happy birthday."
His sister said exactly what I felt, "I wanted to be the first."
While he was still chatting with his younger sister I gave him his birthday card. It was heartfelt and really describe the way I feel about him. How his love is captivating. How I fell in love with him over the years and continue too but how it will take us our entire lifetime for me to tell him how much he means to me.
He read his card out loud to his sister and she told him to relay this message, "Thank your wife for taking care of you. I mean it from the bottom of my heart but words can't express how thankful I am."
That totally touched my heart and his too. After he got off the phone with his sister he called me over to the computer desk. That is were he was working. He told me, "I love you for who you are and am thankful for everything you do. You have always been here for me."
He also admitted that sometimes he can be stubborn and he is so proud of me for dealing with it graciously.

I love my husband for who he is and what he stands for. He made his birthday special for me too with his many thanks.

So, I started writing him a song/poem (I can't sing but I might try tonight):

Have I told you that I love you
lately
Do I make you feel like a man and
strongly

Tell me, do I do my part?
Does my love fill your heart

Because you take my breath away
Tell me do I make you wanna a stay,
with me
Because I love you, I love you
freely

...and you know this isn't just a phase
I'm down for you today , tomorrow and
always

but there is something I must wish,
you
And it isn't just in your tender kiss

It is a Happy Birthday for you
From your wife who adores you

DJ "My Man"

Saturday night my Hubby had a DJ'ing job at a bar not to far from our house. We loaded the car to the max. Fortunately for us this place had speakers. Not that DJ Professional doesn't have speakers he does. However, the speakers are extremely heavy and neither him or I wanted to tote them up and downstairs.
The bar ended up having the exact speakers DJ To of the Line owns. We were both so very thankful. As soon as we get there my hubby asked the manager on duty, "Do you have stands for these speakers?"
The Manager replies, "We got rid of those. We like to keep the speakers on the ground because when it is low it doesn't bother the gamers as much.

SIDEBAR - For Non Vegas Residents. A Gamer is a person who gabbles. Most bars have their regulars and even though an occasional party seems good for liqour sales most bar owner's want to please the regulars.

I thought both Hubby and I understood the managers concerns. He nodded his head when the manager spoke as if he understood. Why would I expect anything else. As you could probably guess, That wasn't the case as soon as we were outside my hubby asked, "Can you go home and get my speaker stands?"
I quickly responded, "Did you understand what the manager said?"
"I can't DJ with speakers on the ground!" He said with disgust evident in his voice.

Little did he know, yes you can. You just leave them on the ground. You can still plug in a turn table, people can still hear it and music will still flow.
What he meant to say is he didn't want to play with speakers on the ground. I tried explaining to him, "As a business man you should try and meet your clients request, if he is the manager and he wants you to DJ with the speakers on the ground, you should DJ with the speakers on the ground."
"Just go get my stands I won't turn it up too loud."

We (me and DJ Stubborn) went back a forth a couple of times before I gave up, but only because I felt my mobile phone vibrating in my pocket. I pulled my Instinct from my pocket and slid my finger around the screen into I got into my text messages. My girl Gina was texting me. We started going back and forth when DJ Stressed said, "I don't know who you are standing there text messaging but these doors ain't going to open themselves."
I looked at his hands, they were full. The bar doors were closed and he looked uncomfortable. I rolled my eyes and opened the bar door. Right after that I jumped in the car and rent home to get his speaker stands.

When I returned to the bar he was moving quickly trying to get everything set up. DJ Creative had assembled a nice little DJ booth. He invited me inside. He noticed immediately that I still had on my flip flops. He said, "You forgot to change your shoes."
I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't really forget, I didn't want to change them. I know that DJ Work a Nerve hated when I wore these particular flip flops in public. Not because they were raggedy or pink (my favorite color) but because they looked cheap. They looked like house only slippers. He needs to get over his prude like ways. It is Vegas and flip flops are in all year round. Even these flip flops he hated so much but my husband still wore socks and boots in 100 plus weather. DJ Unbreakable is the hardest man to change.
I told him to look around the bar. The dress code was so casual. "Come on," he said, "You can't dress like that in front of your friends."
I guess he felt that because Gina and I negotiated the deal I knew the party goers. He was wrong and I stated, "I don't know these people."
His upper lip curled. Before he could say anything else I decided to go home and change. Not only did I need to get my black heels I needed to get my emergency set of nerves because DJ Annoying was working my last one.

When I got back to the bar in attire that meet my husband's requirements things ran smoothly. We finished the final setting up. We moved around his custom made DJ booth as if we were sequenized swimmers. After we were completely finish setting up he had me in stay in the booth. I was tossing him CDs and burning music on his laptop while he spun records on the turn tables. His music was hot, drinks were flowing and the party goers where moving.

We were in the booth when this drunk little chick came over. She weaseled into the DJ booth and went on and on about this and that making sure to roll her tongue when speaking in her native language (Spanish). No, my husband doesn't know Spanish but she did it to be sexy. However she was more slopexy with it. That would be a mixed between sloppy and sexy.
Her action could've been sexy had she been sober. She twisted her hair around her finger and rocked her body back and forth as she asked my husband about his origin and complimented his accent. Then she throw her arms in the air to show us just how wild she could be.
She paid little acknowledgement to me focusing most of her attention on DJ Sexy.
She did occasionally smile at me as if she was assuring me her behavior was alright.
She thought she needed to be so close at one point she leaned over his turn table and her almost unnoticeable beer gut hit the stop button. The music came to a halt. DJ Trying to Work it Out didn't panic. Before pressing the play button he told her, "You turned off the music."
She pointed to herself and asked, "Who me?"
I was fed up. My hubby could sense my vibe. Finally he put his hands on her shoulders and guided her in my direction. "My wife can help you with whatever you need," then he looked over his shoulder to me and said, "I think she's trying to request a song, she needs help with something can you handle this?"
My eyes said with pleasure but my mouth didn't move. She turned back to my husband and pouted. He spun around and gave her the back of his head. I tapped her and said, "What do you want?"
She asked, "What should I request?"
I thought to myself, why is she even over here if she doesn't have a song in mind. I was pissed! I didn't know what she should've requested but I know she was begging me to snatch her up by her long brown hair and drag her to the dance floor and then request DJ Sweetheart to play Don't Mess With My Man by Nivea and breaking it down to her like High School Musical. Yes, me J- singing and dancing to don't mess with my man because seriously, I would be the one to bring it to her.

I was pleased with the DJ Hubby's behavior. We enjoyed the rest of the night. After the party wrapped up he insisted I stay relaxed on the sofa. He packed everything up came inside and snuggled with me in the bar. After he finished his beer he walked me to the car and we headed home.

The Indoor Water Park

I talked to Cocoa again. She wants me to put her garage sale on Craig's List. I'm so excited. Not! Anyways, I have an update on the twins...
No, this isn't their blog but they are just so darn adorable.
Cocoa's husband was out in the back yard preparing for the garage sale. He wanted to make sure the place was presentable to the public. Mean while Cocoa was cleaning inside, not that the public would see the inside of their house. Cocoa was just doing her daily routine. All of a sudden she hears her husband shout, "CRYSTAL (her real name)."
Cocoa goes running through the house to get to the living room. She panicked... the way he screamed made her fear her boys were in danger. That wasn't the case at all. The two of them where sliding in water around the living room. Only stopping to splash themselves or each other. She knew she should've been angry but she was relieved they were OK but more so tickled in their delight. Dad was not by the way. Cocoa's husband came in and gave the two boys a lecture, not that they cared or even pay him any mind.
I bet you're wondering how the boys got the water tthat flood the living room allowing them their indoor water experience.
The water cooler. Yep, they have learned to master the dispensers on the water cooler.

Thirsty Anyone?

The Twins

Today was long and stressful. I got the majority of my billing done at work. Yeah me! I hate to be in the grips of accounting. Tonight I am going to work on my hubby's website. He is an awesome DJ, if you want to book him & you live in Vegas please don't refrain from commenting.

I talked to my younger sister and got updates on the twins. Nico and JoJo. They are adorable. Well, my sister Cocoa has extensions in her hair. One fall out... Haha right. Well, the twins were consuming their time with trying to get their hands on this extension. Cocoa kept picking it up because the boys are about a month shy of one. ...as most of you know, babies love to put things in there mouth. She's always moving being that she has twins and a step daughter who just turned 1. Instead of throwing the extension in the trash she kept moving it out of their reach. Finally JoJo conquered his quest and got the extension. To her surprise he did not stick it in his mouth. Nope, he put it on his head and shook it like he had shiny mane of the most beautiful stallion. This tickled my sister profusely. I think it is kind of funny too. Both Cocoa and I are amazed at how he knew to associate his extension with his head. Babies are so smart, he watched his mother put extension in her hair for about two days and he realized that after she got done with the her hair extension project she had a longer length. LOVE IT!

The Intro

I don't know why I decided to start a blog. Maybe because all the cool kids are doing it. Maybe it deals with my love to write. I don't know...
What is there to say besides what's in my profile?
How free can I be here? Unlike most reality tv celebs, I fear that my parents or someone else might get a hold to this web page and my cookie cutter image will be shattered.

Well, I am still going to try this out. So, here is little bit about me. I'm 28 years old, and I got married Feb. 22 to a wonderful man. We're adjusting to the merger of our lives. We currently do not have any children but hope to soon. I use to enjoy the Sims way more than now but I do still occasionally play. I like to write and laugh.